Livin it One Day at A Time

Well, this post is important for two reasons.

1) This post marks the archiving of my HR. Pufnstuf post. It will now only be available via the archives. I am sure this will cause much partying in Utah. Brauts will be consumed and Root Beer will be drunk in the wild celebration my siblings will throw.

2) I’m finally writing about Revenge of the Sith.

I went to see it again last night. In fact, I went with three cute girls. Three cute girls, and just me. Me, the fat kid from high school. That never happens. I figured, in light of all this wonderful estrogen, I’d be a bit more happy with my outlook on this film(For those of you who know me, I’m a fan of Estrogen ). This was not to be.

Revenge of the Sith
Directed By: George Lucas
Written By: George Lucas
Ewan McGregor …. Obi-Wan Kenobi
Natalie Portman …. Padmé
Hayden Christensen …. Anakin Skywalker
Ian McDiarmid …. Supreme Chancellor Palpatine

Grade C- (I want my childhood back, with 10% interest)

Pretty much everyone else is just window dressing in this flick. Everyone else has minor, minor parts.

We start off with the ole beginning roll. In the roll it states.

There have been heros on both sides. Evil is everywhere

It’s not a good sign when you start off a movie, and you are afraid your brain will explode. How is one supposed to know who to be cheering for? Which side is good (they both have heros)? Which side is bad (they both have Evil)? That was part of the beautiful simplicity of the the original three films. There was Good, there was Bad.

We are then treated to some spectacular CGI as we watch the Jedi vs the droid army at the beginning. After watching these last three movies, I am a firm believer that one of the three stooges programmed the droids. All I was waiting for was to hear one of the droids say “Why I oughtaa”. My money is on Curly being the programmer.

After a brief cameo by Christopher Lee (Dooku), we get that Anakin “Isn’t the Jedi he’s supposed to be”.

Apparently, Jedi aren’t supposed to be psycho’s who kill entire tribes of sand people, secretly marry senators who are at least 10 years older than they are, and pout all the time.

We are also shown why Lucas should never be allowed to write anything ever again. (Paraphrased)

Anakin: You’re so beautiful
Padme: That’s because of your love
Anakin: No, it’s because of your love

At this point, I fully expected it to turn into “I know you are, but what am I”. Forever. Fortunately for me (and perhaps the rest of audience) the scene cuts to another very fast.

The film then continues to go on, and we see Palpatine manipulate Anakin. Never mind that everyone in the audience, the Jedi Council, the toaster droids, and even Anakin figure out he’s a Sith, he still lives.

Anakin then does a lot of bad things, becomes Darth Vader, pouts some more and destroys a bunch of Jedi. All in the name of Love.

I want to puke.

I honestly wanted Anakin to jump off of one of those buildings into the Chaos that is Courosaunt. The only down side, I don’t think he’d die. He’d hit something on the way down, probably many somethings. Did anyone notice that there were, say, one billion things in the background of the film? I started watching everything zip around instead of watching the actors.

Not a good sign.

So, the end comes, The Jedi are gone, Anakin is Vader, and the kids are split up.

Which leaves me with the following questions/statements.
1) The Jedi deserve to die! Why? I believe using the force consumes brain cells. The proof:
- 4 Jedi vs 1 Sith. Sith wins. Don’t they have a Temple-o-Jedi? Don’t they have reinforcements?
- They show up to the colloseum in AoC with like 15 Jedi vs 1000 Robots and 1000 Insects. Is it me, or are the Jedi pretty full of themselves? Or do they just not know how to figure out odds. Remind me to never join a army the Jedi are running.
- When it comes time to kill Vader, Kenobi just leaves him. Most powerful force wielder in the galaxy, and Kenobi walks away. Tip to the Jedi. Make sure the bad guys are dead.
- If Anakin is so strong, why did Yoda send Kenobi after him?

2) What exactly are the rules for using the force? When they could have used it, they don’t, when they don’t need to, they do.

3) Doesn’t Leia say she remembers her birth mother in Return of the Jedi? That girl has some good memory if so.

4) Why doesn’t Padme know she have twins? I’d think she’d look a tad bit bigger if she had twins (for a girl that size, I’d think she’d look like she was going to explode). Does the Star Wars Universe only do Neonatal stuff when the kids come along? (The medical droid knew there were twins).

5) I don’t recall right now, I’m griping right now, and I’ll think up more, but I just wasn’t satisfied.

6) The only thing I can really say, is that the force is pretty balanced. Two Jedi and Two Sith. They all die, and I think Luke goes onto voice children’s cartoons or something.

Actually, *Star Wars Geek Hat On*. I think Luke is able to balance both sides of the force now. He has emotions, but he is able to control his emotions. Something the Sith/Jedi never can do

Sith: All Emotions, all the time
Jedi: No Emotions, none of the time.

Luke: He can get mad, but then back off and act surprisingly adult when needed.

Just saw this article that Lucas may do yet another prequel, but he wouldn’t captain this flick. All I can say is thank goodness.

I give this flick 1 1/2 dancing neon muses.

I think my next review will be of the exploits of Han, Luke, Leia and the rest of the gang as they labor to get Chewie to his kid/wife/dad in time for Christmas (Aka, the Star Wars Holiday Special). Oh, and as a treat, you get to listen to Princess Leia sing.

Happy Life day!

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I was driving into work, when my MP3 player (it’s name is Bender) started to play the theme song from Batman.

Not The new Batman.

Not even the cheesy Batman with The Governor of California in it.

I’m talking the old school Batman TV show theme. You know the one.

“Atomic Batteries to Power…. Turbines to speed….”

As I listened to this little blast from the past, I realized if you take away the talking, and “Batman” words, you have a 60’s surf movie song.

Think about it next time you hear the music.

I think that’s what caused the “Chris is wearing Hawaiian shirts all the time” craze of 2003. Not a good time.

Anyways, whilst thinking up that important thought, I decided that whilst I would like to be in a relationship (with a girl ) there are a lot of things that I get away with.

1) Oh, those Hawaiian shirts
2) The Uniform shirts
3) I can avoid going to the Doctor till I am at deaths door.
4) I can be extra lazy. If there are floaties in my water, I just wait until they all settle to the bottom. No going to the sink and getting a whole new cup of water for me!
5) I can make jokes about bath towels. (Yes, they do get washed. I think).
6) I get to eat all this stale food. This is due to the fact I just can’t eat it fast enough. Hardened Peeps. Dairy products that are questionably over the expiration date. - Can my married brethren do that?
7) I can let hobbies take over my life. Some of them include

• Pinball Machines
  
• Arcade Games
  
• Belt Buckles
  
• Photography
  
• Concerts
  
• Concert T-Shirts
  
• Computers
  
• Belly Button Lint
  

So the things I don’t get being a bachelor
1) Someone to get me to go to the Doctor, before I die.
2) Someone to scratch my back
3) Someone to kiss (wooooooooooooooooo)
4) Someone to convince me to get rid of my sideburns
5) Someone to let me know I make questionable fashion decisions (Parachute Pants, Woo!)
6) Eating home cooked meals.
7) Cooking home cooked meals. Tax breaks 9) Someone to rub the stupid knots out of my back
10) The ability to sit next to someone in a movie (since you can’t sit next to another guy in a theater)
11) Someone to laugh at my stupid humor.

Over all I would have to say that while the bachelor stuff is fun, I think I’ll enjoy the relationship stuff once it comes.

For right now though, Carpe Diem!

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As I sit here listening to melodic tunes of Bananarama as I prepare for work, I had a nagging question in the back of my mind, that I have asked before. It just wasn’t answered very well, so I throw it out again..

How many times do you use a towel before you wash it?

From my viewpoint, you are the cleanest thing in the house once you step out of the shower, no? I mean, realistically, the towel should be getting cleaner every time it touches you!

So figure, what, once every month? two months? six months? a year?

By the way, Anyone know the best way to bend towels when you can no longer fold them?

Oh, and for your viewing pleasure, Kay, the dog I dog-sat.

She was giving me all types of tude when I was trying to take that photo.

I’m getting closer to the FishTales Pinball being done

I had my hair cut. My Mr. Darcy’esq sideburns got trimmed.

I was so happy.

Oh, and for some *good* comedy, that made me laugh, check out this post by my little sister. She’s outing the fact that the fam skipped Stake Conference. Pay close attention to the comments, where my Dad and my little brother try to hush her.

That’s good stuff That’s where I come from ya’ll.

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That I’m a total goofball who likes the muppets?

Or that I’m just a total goofball?

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Today has been somewhat busy.

I took a nice shower and then as the night started to set, I went out to my truck and opened up the tailgate. I wrote a letter for a while, then just laid down in the bed, with my mp3 player and looked at the stars while I listened to music.

To me there is just something very infinite and eternal when you look at the stars. The music adds an extra dimension. One in which I can borrow from the joy, sorrow, goofiness, or wonder, and siphon some of the energy into how I feel.

Frankly, it was awesome. I felt like I had slowed down, I felt like I had shared in the infinite, I felt like I had been a sentimental goof ball.

The only thing that had been missing was a girl.

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(No, I’m not talking about the one with Ferris Bueller in it, that shall be struck from everyones memories)

Directed by Morton DaCosta
Robert Preston …. Harold Hill
Shirley Jones …. Marian Paroo
Buddy Hackett …. Marcellus Washburn
Hermione Gingold …. Eulalie Mackechnie Shinn
Paul Ford …. Mayor George Shinn
Pert Kelton …. Mrs. Paroo
Ron Howard …. Winthrop Paroo (as Ronny Howard)

Grade: A+++!!!!11 Would do business again!!

It’s an age old story. Man is a traveling sales man, Man mesmerizes town, Man sells town imaginary boys band, Girl/Librarian/Piano Teacher figures he’s a charlatan, Girl/Librarian/Piano Teacher falls in love with said charlatan, charlatan almost gets tarred and feathered.

If I had a nickel for every story I’ve sen like that.. I’d have like one nickel.

We start off with Pro. Harold Hill (Preston) who is making a bad name for all traveling salesmen (who apparently had good names before hand). He’s like any other salesman, except he’s selling boy’s bands.

Not something you can really sell, but he does it with style.

He doesn’t even know how to play instruments, but that never stops him.

He stops in the little town of River City Iowa. After a rather cold shoulder from the town folk, he meets up with a old ex-con friend, Marcellus (Hackett) who gives him the lowdown on the town, including the town Piano teacher. Marian the Librarian(Jones).

After getting the townsfolk stirred up about the fact the there are pool tables coming into town (Oh we got Trouble!) Pro. Hill convinces the townsfolk that they need to get a boys band to “Keep the Young Ones Moral After School”.

Soon after, Pro Hill convinces the town (during the 4th of July) that they need to have a boys band. This involves a lot of dancing, some singing, some showing of female leg (oh, what a young male mind remembers), and playing of *imaginary* musical instruments.

Needless to say, Marian the Librarian is not amused.

She then makes it her quest to get Pro. Hill exposed. Amongst this, we find out that she argues with her mother thru song (as long as you don’t lie through song, you are good), and sings to her man, while looking at the stars.

You also learn that she has some crazy ideas for what she wants in her man. Learned via the song argument:

Mrs. Paroo:
Now I haven’t changed the subject, I was talking’ about that stranger–

Marian:
What stranger?

Mrs. Paroo:
With the suitcase who may be your very last chance

Marian:
Mama!
Do you think that I’d allow a common masher
Now really, Mama!
I have my standards where men are concerned and I have no intention -

Mrs. Paroo:
I know all about your standards
And if you don’t mind me sayin’ so
There’s not a man alive who could hope to measure up
To that blend of Paul Bunyan, Saint Pat and Noah Webster
You’ve concocted for yourself
Out of your Irish imagination
Your Iowa stubbornness and your library fulla’ books!

Pro. Harold Hill moves his confidence game along, and as you watch, he continues to keep the School Board off his back, get money from the townsfolk, and wooo said Librarian.

It’s hard to narrow down any one musical number that I like. So I like them all. Some favorite lines include

From : The Sadder-But-Wiser-Girl

I prefer to take a chance on a more adult romance
No dewy young miss who keeps resisting
All the time she keeps insisting

No wide-eyed, wholesome, innocent female, No Sir!
Why, she’s the fisherman, I’m the fish, you see? Plop!

I flinch, I shy when the lass with the delicate air goes by
I smile, I grin when the gal with a touch of sin walks in
I hope, I pray for Hester to win just one more ‘A’

The sadder-but-wiser girl’s the girl for me.
The sadder-but-wiser girl for me!

Then mocking how one person can be tore apart for small little things

Pickalittle:

Eulalie:
Stop! I’ll tell.
She made brazen overtures to a man who never had a friend in this town till she came here.

Alma:
Oh, yes. Oh, yes!
That woman made brazen overtures
With a gild-edge guarantee
She had a golden glint in her eye
And a silver voice with a counterfeit ring

Just melt her down and you’ll reveal
A lump of lead as cold as steel
Here, where a woman’s heart should be!

Eulalie, Alma, Maud, Ethel, Mrs. Squires:
He left River City the Library building
But he left all the books to her

Soon, Pro. Hill finds himself going to the library in attempts to woo the Librarian, to get him off of his case. In there he says one of the better quotes of the movie:

Marian Paroo: No, please, not tonight. Maybe tomorrow.
Harold Hill: Oh, my dear little librarian. You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays. I don’t know about you, but I’d like to make today worth remembering.

Then he sings to her in the Library (which is pretty scandelous)

But when I try in here to tell you dear
I love you madly, madly, madam librarian, Marian

It’s a long lost cause, I can never win
For the civilized world accepts as unforgivable sin
Any talking out loud with any librarian
Such as Marian, Madam Librarian

The topper is when Pro. Hill delivers a trombone to The Librarian’s little brother (Ron Howard, aka the kid from Andy Griffith Show, aka the kid from Happy Days, aka the Balding director from Apollo.) He also has a scary looking younger brother that somehow shows up in every movie he makes, but we’ll talk about that some other time.

So anyways, she takes back all the evidence she had against him. Then she lets him know.

Marian Paroo: The librarian hasn’t felt much like doing research lately, but she did plenty when you first came here.
Harold Hill: What about?
Marian PRO: Professor Harold Hill. Gary Conservatory of Music, class of ‘05. Harold, there wasn’t any Gary Conservatory of Music in ‘05.
Harold Hill: Why, there most certainly w…
Marian PRO: Because the town wasn’t even built until ‘06. I tore this page out of an Indiana Journal. I was going to use it against you, but now I give to you with my love

That’s where I say, “PROFESSOR, RUN AWAY!”. She just dropped the L-Bomb on him!

We are then presented with yet another favorite song “Shipoopi” Done by Buddy Hackett.

Now, a woman who’ll kiss on the very first date
Is usually a hussy
And a woman who’ll kiss on the second time out
Is anything but fussy

But a woman who’ll wait till the third time around
Head in the clouds,
Feet on the ground
She’s the girl he’s glad he’s found
She’s his shipoopi

Now, what a shipoopi is, I’m not quite sure, but those seem to be pretty good guidelines, I guess
Well, by now, our Hero, Pro. Harold Hill realizes that he’s been lured into the Librarian’s web.

Harold Hill: I can’t go.
Marian Paroo: Why not?
Harold Hill: For the first time in my life, I got my foot caught in the door.

I think there was a collective Bachelor tear shed then, as yet another brother has been captured.

We’ll mourn his loss.

Oh, and another favorite quote

Zaneeta: It’s indecent to meet boys at the footbridge!
Tommy Djilas: First thing after supper?
Zaneeta: All right! Yee Gods!

I give this one Four out of Four Dancing muses as well.

(Oh, and those hats need to come back into style, they rock)

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Here I sit.

With my people. I have been in denial for a long time. It feels so much better to really admit who I am.

Hi, my name is Chris and I am a Star Wars Geek.

I have a creepy guy sitting next to me.

If something happens to me tonight I beqeath my pinball machines to

Snowball, the family cat.

I seriously think this guy is picking up gum off of the ground and eating it.

OK. He is. This is creeping me out. He’s in my showing as well.

He’s going to make a man suit out of me I just know it.

Why am I here again?

Oh yes, to see all the boys and girls dressed up as Jedi, Sith, and wookies.

And to be uncomfortably close to the creepy guy.

It puts the lotion on its skin, and puts it in the basket.

Oh, I just sat down and creepy guy sat down at the same time and started picking at his skin.

Creeeepin me OUT

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