Review: Revenge of The Sith (Spoilers)

Well, this post is important for two reasons.

1) This post marks the archiving of my HR. Pufnstuf post. It will now only be available via the archives. I am sure this will cause much partying in Utah. Brauts will be consumed and Root Beer will be drunk in the wild celebration my siblings will throw.

2) I’m finally writing about Revenge of the Sith.

I went to see it again last night. In fact, I went with three cute girls. Three cute girls, and just me. Me, the fat kid from high school. That never happens. I figured, in light of all this wonderful estrogen, I’d be a bit more happy with my outlook on this film(For those of you who know me, I’m a fan of Estrogen 😉 ). This was not to be.

Revenge of the Sith
Directed By: George Lucas
Written By: George Lucas
Ewan McGregor …. Obi-Wan Kenobi
Natalie Portman …. Padmé
Hayden Christensen …. Anakin Skywalker
Ian McDiarmid …. Supreme Chancellor Palpatine

Grade C- (I want my childhood back, with 10% interest)

Pretty much everyone else is just window dressing in this flick. Everyone else has minor, minor parts.

We start off with the ole beginning roll. In the roll it states.

There have been heros on both sides. Evil is everywhere

It’s not a good sign when you start off a movie, and you are afraid your brain will explode. How is one supposed to know who to be cheering for? Which side is good (they both have heros)? Which side is bad (they both have Evil)? That was part of the beautiful simplicity of the the original three films. There was Good, there was Bad.

We are then treated to some spectacular CGI as we watch the Jedi vs the droid army at the beginning. After watching these last three movies, I am a firm believer that one of the three stooges programmed the droids. All I was waiting for was to hear one of the droids say “Why I oughtaa”. My money is on Curly being the programmer.

After a brief cameo by Christopher Lee (Dooku), we get that Anakin “Isn’t the Jedi he’s supposed to be”.

Apparently, Jedi aren’t supposed to be psycho’s who kill entire tribes of sand people, secretly marry senators who are at least 10 years older than they are, and pout all the time.

We are also shown why Lucas should never be allowed to write anything ever again. (Paraphrased)

Anakin: You’re so beautiful
Padme: That’s because of your love
Anakin: No, it’s because of your love

At this point, I fully expected it to turn into “I know you are, but what am I”. Forever. Fortunately for me (and perhaps the rest of audience) the scene cuts to another very fast.

The film then continues to go on, and we see Palpatine manipulate Anakin. Never mind that everyone in the audience, the Jedi Council, the toaster droids, and even Anakin figure out he’s a Sith, he still lives.

Anakin then does a lot of bad things, becomes Darth Vader, pouts some more and destroys a bunch of Jedi. All in the name of Love.

I want to puke.

I honestly wanted Anakin to jump off of one of those buildings into the Chaos that is Courosaunt. The only down side, I don’t think he’d die. He’d hit something on the way down, probably many somethings. Did anyone notice that there were, say, one billion things in the background of the film? I started watching everything zip around instead of watching the actors.

Not a good sign.

So, the end comes, The Jedi are gone, Anakin is Vader, and the kids are split up.

Which leaves me with the following questions/statements.
1) The Jedi deserve to die! Why? I believe using the force consumes brain cells. The proof:
– 4 Jedi vs 1 Sith. Sith wins. Don’t they have a Temple-o-Jedi? Don’t they have reinforcements?
– They show up to the colloseum in AoC with like 15 Jedi vs 1000 Robots and 1000 Insects. Is it me, or are the Jedi pretty full of themselves? Or do they just not know how to figure out odds. Remind me to never join a army the Jedi are running.
– When it comes time to kill Vader, Kenobi just leaves him. Most powerful force wielder in the galaxy, and Kenobi walks away. Tip to the Jedi. Make sure the bad guys are dead.
– If Anakin is so strong, why did Yoda send Kenobi after him?

2) What exactly are the rules for using the force? When they could have used it, they don’t, when they don’t need to, they do.

3) Doesn’t Leia say she remembers her birth mother in Return of the Jedi? That girl has some good memory if so.

4) Why doesn’t Padme know she have twins? I’d think she’d look a tad bit bigger if she had twins (for a girl that size, I’d think she’d look like she was going to explode). Does the Star Wars Universe only do Neonatal stuff when the kids come along? (The medical droid knew there were twins).

5) I don’t recall right now, I’m griping right now, and I’ll think up more, but I just wasn’t satisfied.

6) The only thing I can really say, is that the force is pretty balanced. Two Jedi and Two Sith. They all die, and I think Luke goes onto voice children’s cartoons or something.

Actually, *Star Wars Geek Hat On*. I think Luke is able to balance both sides of the force now. He has emotions, but he is able to control his emotions. Something the Sith/Jedi never can do

Sith: All Emotions, all the time
Jedi: No Emotions, none of the time.

Luke: He can get mad, but then back off and act surprisingly adult when needed.

Just saw this article that Lucas may do yet another prequel, but he wouldn’t captain this flick. All I can say is thank goodness.

I give this flick 1 1/2 dancing neon muses.

I think my next review will be of the exploits of Han, Luke, Leia and the rest of the gang as they labor to get Chewie to his kid/wife/dad in time for Christmas (Aka, the Star Wars Holiday Special). Oh, and as a treat, you get to listen to Princess Leia sing.

Happy Life day!