Livin it One Day at A Time

This is bound to be a long, rambling, and boring entry. You might just skip it, since it’s more for myself, than for anyone else to read.

I’ve been unable to sleep the last few days. It’s driving me nuts and making all sorts of cranky. Not to help the situation, I am going on call in the next two hours or so. I don’t want to deal with that, or deal with the manager who will be my second tier of support.

The reason I am awake isn’t because of any of those reasons though. It’s because of the Ex. After I feel that I had firmly pushed her out of my concious thought, she shows up in a dream. And that just sucks.

Some of you may think I’m being a bit melodramatic, and I tend to agree. I want to be back to where I was.

Part of the problem, and this is one that I’m weary of saying, is that I put myself really out there. Let me explain.

On our second date, we went to see the Incredibles. While we were in the wierd dance that is dating, and I watched her give me the signs that she wanted to hold my hand, I had a wierd thing happen to me.

Some background: People receive awnsers to their prayers in any number of different ways. I typically receive prayers through a tingling throughout the body.

Sitting there in the theatre, I got that. Which wigged me out good since I hadn’t asked for anything! I didn’t know how to deal with that, since I had never felt that before in my “serial dating” career. So based on that, I ended up putting myself a lot more out there than I have ever for a girl. I invested a lot of emotion in this girl. I opened myself up a lot. Which made the entire break up hurt a lot. I was then pretty much over that when she sent the e-mail about getting married. That opened up that wound again. It sucks, and made my stinkin sub-concious make me think about her even when I firmly had her out of my concious thoughts.

It sucks, because I can’t sleep.

So, I got down on my knees, and poured my heart out to the Lord. Let Him know all my problems, my worries, and just, well, poured out my heart to him.

I was then reading the Book Of Mormon, Mosiah 23:21-22. which states:

23:21 Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith.

23:22 Nevertheless–whosoever putteth his trust in him the same shall be lifted up at the last day. Yea, and thus it was with this people.

So, I just need to put my trust in Him. I know he has a plan for me. I’m just a bit impatient to know what it is. I’ll be heading over to the Temple as soon as I can.

There was something else I was going to write about, but I’ve forgotten already. I guess it wasn’t important.

Anyways, it’s time for me to go and get ready to pick up the pager.

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Today was a day of trying to get stuff done.

But not really.

I started work on repairing the computers, but I lost motivation about five minutes into that, then I proceeded to go to SAMS club, for lunch.

Then I proceeded to dork around some more, work on the fish tales pinball, and then dork around somre more.

I dorked aroudn a lot, didn’t I?

I then went with Beth Cook, a friend of mine, to Fort Collins to get some new clothes. Had a fun time, and I like the threads.

Anyways, I must go to sleep

Dork Dork Dork.

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Well, in my trapsing around the Internets, I found a review of one of my favorite bad movies ever.

Xanadu

Now the few of you who read this blog, may realize that I make everyone I can watch this movie.

Beware coming over to my house, because I’m liable to whip this sucker out.

It’s so bad. As I’ve told others, you need to knwo see the truly bad to appreciate the good. And this is the really bad.

From the Review

Kira - Olivia Newton John! Muse and organic mood ring supreme, one moment she’s glowing blue, then orange, etc.

Then The Plot:

What has Olivia Newton John, Gene Kelly, roller skates, lots of glowing blue people, quasi disco music, and never ends?

Exactly - Hell.

Living in this fairy tale torture chamber is Sonny, he is an artist with talent, at painting album covers at least. This is why Kira, daughter of Zeus and inspiration for fine art everywhere, decides he is the only one who can make Xanadu happen. With Danny providing venture capital of course. All of this nicely explains the decline of Greek civilization, Zeus and his siblings are spending their time opening roller skate dance clubs. Meanwhile the Greek population is burning goats at a furious pace hoping for a little help against these Roman fellows. (”Could we have another Alexander please, this disco thing you turned us on to is very nice, but now everyone else wants to kick our ass.”) Did I mention the two lovers briefly change into a Don Bluth animation? Where’s a bucket of dip when you need it…

The review had me crying, go read it, it’s good.

On other fronts, I’ve been feeling sick, which didn’t make the Star thing any better. And I crashed two computers. So my week sucked monkey butt. I go on pager in three days, which has me all kinds of dreading it.

Anyways, I need to go fix something.

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After what, 2 years, I’ve posted over 100 entries! Mostly babbling
I’ve been battling some pretty serious computer problems. Yesterday I started to upgrade my home server (home of This Blog and Pinblog.com. Well, I was trying to figure out what the problem was (a bunch of esmith::db can’t find open errors), which turned out to be perl scripts being in places they shouldn’t be.

Anyways, where was I?

Oh yes, so then I tried fixing my mail/main pc, and managed to fubar up the entire partition. I was sweating bullets, but it looks like I got back the important stuff (e-mail). So far, I’ve tried bribing, schmoozing, kissing up to this host, and it won’t come back up. I may have to throw Fedora back on it.

Crap.

Well, on the personal front, I’ve been listening to some good music, earlier I went outsite into the bed of my truck, took a blanket, and just stared up at the stars while I listened to some music.

I needed to take a few minutes, stop, and collect who I am, where I am, and what I want to do. whilst I was doing this, Gordon called, and I talked to him. It was fun. I’m glad I have good family. I am going to try going down to the Denver Temple, if I can, before I go on pager (this upcoming week).

Well, back to a few more fixes ;I

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Recovering from a technical disaster..

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Check out Pinblog.com I’ll be putting more data just concerning pins over there. Check out, kick the tires.

I’ll elaborate more on Star tommarow ( I remembered what I forgot yesterday).

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Spent time with the family in Payson. I really just wanted to retreat to my cave.

I had a whole lot of stuff planned to write about last night, but at the Ramada Inn Express, I just fell asleep. I was/am exhausted. I had a bit written, and it’s all gone, which has me a little miffed.

Anyways, the next day, I hung out with Gordon (Hey Gordon, you loser of a second oldest). We went and looked at these slot machines that were being sold at the salt lake city fairgrounds. It was lame, they were japanese slots from the cruise ships. Not impressed at all. I want a one armed bandit. We then went to Seigfreds, a German resturant. That was good.

Afterwards, we headed off to pick up Christi.

That night we goofed off with Gordon, Christi and all the friends. Halfway through the night I started to feel terribly lonesome. How can one individual have this much pull? A few days ago, Tyson said I need to get over it, and I think I have, and then out of nowhere I feel like that. I had more to say, but dang if I forgot it last night. I need to keep notes of what I want to write.

Dang it, I had something that was half-way insightful, and it’s just taunting me.

I’ll remember. When I am in the shower tommarow, or driving.

Anyways, I listened to another good Bowling for Soup track “Self-Centered“. An excerpt:

She took the afternoon train
To find a different plane
But life down the drain
Better than being ignored

[Pre Chorus:]
I think I’m taking a vacation now
I’m on holiday and maybe I won’t rest
Until I’ve thrown it all away
Yeah I’ve got it down

[Chorus:]
I’m gonna feel sorry for myself
I want to blame it on everyone else
I want to be self centered
And make everybody feel sorry for me

But then I had to listen to some Everyone wear Sunscreen

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

—————————

And I knew that I had just been rebuked by the MP3 player for making it play so many sappy angst songs.

So, Family and friends, I am counting on you in many years.

Well, I need to go exersize.

Move along.. Nothing to see here.

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