I am Beating a very old, decrepit, old, moldy, dead horse.
Remember the billboard with Lance on it?
Or the following one with what’s her name Osmond on it?
How about the Photoshopped one of me? (back when I had the killer chops).
Well, I was going through my links, as I am want to do, when I found an article at Single Thought where they take this premise and manage to take it even further (with a little tounge and cheek). Towards the end they say the following
“We now open our humble inbox to all the good ones out there. We invite all the well-meaning friends, brothers, sisters, fathers, roommates, cousins, and co-workers to say what’s so great about your friend/roomie/child/sibling. There are a few rules we must abide though, and here they are:”
The rest of the rules are here
I’m adding the line “Reader of my blog” to the list as well. Go ahead, mail those two, let them know of my love for arcade games, and my dislike of P&P.
Apparently they are offering up one of the authors as a reward (tounge and cheek). I had been doing some reading of fellow LDS Single bloggers when I found her blog. Pretty interesting reading. Go ahead, sign me up, I dare you to.
In other news, my back is hurting me so bad I can’t even really do anything. In typical man style, I don’t think I’ll go see a doctor until I really have to. Doctors, evil, hiss.
It looks like I will be driving to Utah this weekend. @Wheeee!
I have also been mulling the fact that I may be afraid to stop my playboy ways. I was on a date this weekend. The girl was fun, pretty, and enjoyable to be around. This was date #2. Towards the end, I ended up deciding that I was going to go for the hug instead of, well, aim for the kiss.
I’ve been thinking about that this weekend.
KISS KISS KISS KISS!!!
Hardy, we are sooooooo going to win this. Get ready for your big date. I wonder if she’ll fly to Cheytown, or if you’ll have to drive to D.C. It’s gonnna be great. I have the perfect idea, but I may need a new photo. Email me if you are interested in really playing this through.
Umm, to avoid slandering online I just want to say you should really think carefully about submitting that. This chick was in my ward fresh yr at BYU. There were always interesting stories like how her dad would cancel sacrament meeting on Super Bowl Sunday. Be careful. Ok, now I just think I slandered. Drat. I have to learn to be more covert.
DanaLee- yeah- learn to be more covert.
Chris- Thanks for the page hits. I always like making more money.
Dana and Chris–all in good fun! And never believe what you hear from other people. Her dad would be the last person to cancel sacrament on Super Bowl sunday. He’s be the one driving around, dragging your sorry butt back to church while you still have the taco dip and chips in your hand. You woulda been passing the bread in your Steve Young jersey.
And you’d never win if you don’t like P&P anyway. Nooooo chance…sorry.
There were always interesting stories like how her dad would cancel sacrament meeting on Super Bowl Sunday. Be careful.
That was seriously the funniest thing i’ve read all day. Be careful about what? Do you seriously believe that? Way to keep up the stereotypes. Oh and just as juli said…….be careful of what you hear and what you believe.
Heather: Kiss the girl on the Date? >:)
Brendo: I don’t want to supply you with ammunition.
DanaLee: I do think I’m missing something here.
Erin: No Problemo
Juli: You mean the guy actually has to like P&P? Doesn’t that limit the Waldo’s down to like, only a few guys? 🙂
Sherpa: I do feel like I’m being left out of something..
A true man will suck it up and at least make an effort to watch P&P with a girl he likes. Face it–this is Star Wars for chicks. It won’t go away just because you think it’s lame. Pretend to understand the cultural nuances just like we pretend to understand Jar Jar Binks. It’ll all work out in the end.
And tell Dana Lee she might be hearing from our attorney. We have used EA’s stats counter to hunt her down. ;o)
I went out with the aforementioned chick and quite enjoyed myself. She’s a gorgeous blonde with a razor sharp intellect, a great sense of humor, that runs rivers, climbs mountains, and shoots machine guns! She’s way out of your league man. (mine too)
Oh ye of little faith! If my priesthood leader told me to go home and watch the Super Bowl, do you think you would hear me murmuring? Absolutely not! I would be at home sitting on my couch with a Mountain Dew and a bag of Doritos doing all I could to sustain my Bishop. Better yet, I would be raising my neighbor’s level of spirituality by watching it on his big screen. I wish we all could be so righteous.
Juli-
How could watching P&P ever be considered a test of true manhood? Ok, maybe the Keira Knightly version wouldn’t be so bad. I can think of much worse things that looking at Keira for two hours. But the A&E version is like 80 hours long and the actresses aren’t even that cute. I would question the sexuality of any man that could sit through the whole thing. I mean if he wasn’t gay when it started he would almost have to be by the time it ended.
Heather- I think I love you! KISS!!!
chris, you’re way out of your league
Justin: Aren’t you supposed to shoot for someone who is out of your league? I mean, there just aren’t that many girls who like shooting machine guns, write books, climb mountians, and are funny, no?
Juli: Ok, maybe if the guy, is say, engaged and has a lot of spare time, he might need to watch some P&P. With all the doors locked, and shutters closed. I’ve never forced anyone to watch Star Wars. Now there have been some other shows….
Sherpa: Well, of course..
Justin (and Chris)-If you are willing to sit through P&P for a girl, you might be surprised at how much more she’ll like you for being willing to sacrifice 6 hours of your time to watch Colin Firth in tights. As for Keira Knightly, she’s anorexic with big nasty british teeth. Guys are into that? Ick.
*sighs and waits patiently for Knightly’s attorney call me out on the slander…*
I would like to point out some of my other virtues that Justin, Juli, and Sherpa left out. I keep a toy Anakin Skywalker on my desk at work, as well as Darth Tater. I have seen every Star Wars film at least 4 times in the theater. I worship Jane Austen (and let’s all try to spell her name right- AustEn). I can change the oil in my car without the help of Jiffy Lube or any other man. And my knitting skills are incomparable. Oh and my father is one of the most conservative men you will ever meet. He was more likely to plan a meeting on Super Bowl Sunday, just because he could, than to ever be caught watching football (any TV really) on a Sunday.
Oh, and just for the record. You never THINK about going in for the kiss. You just DO IT.
Kiss her, Chris!!
Chris- I totally agree that you should shoot for someone out of your league. Speaking of which, is Heather single? Can anybody here vouch for her kissing skills?
Juli- Sitting through P&P may win a guy some brownie points, but he’s setting a dangerous precedent in the process. Pretty soon he’ll be expected to color coordinate his socks with his shoes, wax his chest, and buy tickets to the ballet. Being a sensitive male is a slippery, slippery slope.
Juli: The entire Colin Firth comment pretty much confirms the theory I’ve had about Pride and Prejudice all along.. Girls like a guy who’s snooty 😉 As for Knightly, oh, she’s got the cute voice. mmmm…
Erin: Ok, well, since you are now officially two leagues away from me, I’m throwing in the towel. I can’t claim to having seen Star Wars that many times in the theater. I’ve been outclassed 😉
As for the Kiss. There’s all the thought process going on before that. Alas, somewhere along the way, I may have become a somewhat serial dater. Trying to decide how I feel? Not that easy ;I
Kelly: Same goes for you.
Justin: Heather, well, I don’t know where she came from.
heather, you have any references? 🙂
Have you guys acutally met Hardy (Chris)? Nobody’s out of this guys league. Bar none, pure bread quality stock. Ok, so that sounds more like livestock than Chris, but he’s a 100% genuine, top notch, unadulterated, best friend in the world type guy. SHE’D be lucky to even go on a date with HIM. After seeing her post, it looks like she could be along the same lines. I wasn’t sure about the whole knitting thing until my wife started, so it must be cool and coming back now. Lol. An oil change is no biggie, but if she can change her own spark plugs, then I say you gotta fly to D.C.. I still have my plan if you are interested…
Brendo, go for it, by all means >:)
Did Brendo see the retraction on Erin’s blog? She admitted he’s a nice guy (or seems to be), just clueless about the brilliance of all things Austen. But as her best friend for many years, I can tell you she’s way, way, WAY out of his league. Most guys are. You have to be able to outshoot her, among other things. Good luck with that. You can always dream, Chris. In fact, why am I even her friend? She’s out of MY league too!
Just for the record, yes, I can change my own spark plugs! And warning, I also write romance novels (along with Juli, world’s greatest best friend) loosely based on Pride and Prejudice.
I didn’t realize this was a blog war until I read Erin’s blog for the first time. So Juli, I had not seen Erin’s retraction, however I wasn’t posing the question to her anyway. I know they haven’t met yet, or we would have seen signs of twiterpation throughout at least one of the bloggs. Lol. My question was more out of curiousity and aimed at those who thought she was out of his league. As a long time friend of Hardy, as I call him, I can say that they don’t come any better than him. Now, if you think she is a bit out of his leage, that’s fine. We (guys) are taught to marry up, so that’s nothing new. The secret is how to convince someone out of your league to say yes. That was my dilema, and I hate to admit it, but it took a quote from Jane Austen to seal the deal for me, but that’s another story too intimate for cyberspace. So while I can’t totally harsh P&P, I will say that at least in Star Wars the ladies had Harrison Ford to “entertain” them, P&P just doesn’t have the same “offering”. Read it, watch it, love it; I’d rather be fishing.
Erin, I am impressed by the plug ability. Just for comfirmation sake, what’s your gap on your plug??? No accusation here, just curious. I hate it when things get misinterpolated on blogs and email, so don’t make any assumptions here.
Hardy, we’ll come up with something. Something savvy and entertaining to boot. If things don’t work out, no biggie, perhaps your wife was killed in the war in Heaven after all. In either case, as long as everyone behaves themselves, we’ll all see eachother again in the CK, third floor, and we can reminisce about the great blog war!!!
Brendo: I can’t believe I am answering this. My gap is .060. I hate to disappoint you though, I don’t carry a gapper on my keychain.
Now I think you should have to share what that Austen quote was. I told you my gap- its only fair.
Brendo’s wife here…coming to the party a bit late I see.
As I’m sure it would break some sort of man-code for Brendo to reveal his stolen Austen line, I’ll do it for him. (Though, really, it’s not Austen at all. Rather the screenplay writer of Emma, starring Gwenyth Paltrow. Let the boy think it’s Austen though.) Let’s just say that his proposal of marriage bore an striking resemblence to the last line of Mr. Knightley’s to Emma.
That bit of info pales in comparison, however, to the fact that Erin apparently has a Darth Tater on her desk!?! The Princess Leia Pez I have on mine doesn’t hold a candle to that. Girl, where did you find it?? I have looked everywhere for one! Hmmmm, Hardy, you may have something there with ebay. I am totally off to stalk the place in search of my very own Tater.
Leigh (who has no idea what a gap is)
I was about to post and say that the details to my proposal were a family secret, but I guess that’s not true anymore! In either case, I would never kiss and tell, especially online. Erin, I can’t belive you know your gap, nor that you responded to the question. I don’t know which one surprises me more. I am glad that you don’t carry a gapper, although that would have led to some great blog battling mockage if you did. So it looks to me like the war might be over, especailly since the Waldo contest is over, you know your gap, I apparently don’t know Jack about Austen (is that a bad thing?). Any chance for a late entry? He might not win a date, lol, but I might submit an entry anyway and hope it hits Hardy’s and Erin’s blog. Wyoming is the last place anyone would look for Waldo. Ironic that he’s there isn’t it? Perhaps if anything somebody’s shell might be opened up just a little more and the real non-blog self might show through more often. Juli, wouldn’t you agree that you can’t really get to know someone simply from their blog? After all, correct me if I am wrong dear (Leigh), but I believe it was Jane Austen who said, “There is safety in reserve, but no attraction. One cannot love a reserved person.” Maybe all of the Waldos and Waldas need to be less reserved and let their true stripes show through.
Hey, all my stripes are showing clearly. And I hate to point it out so late in the blog war, but no one has tried to sell me yet on Chris! I eagerly await his Waldo traits. Oh, and if you want to send in his ad, I can pretty much guarantee he’ll make it on the blog and in next week’s column. And I think Juli will back me up on that- assuming he’s blog and column worthy.
Yeah, if Hardy comes up with something good, I think we can promise to run him in the column next week–I can make no guarantees on her blog though. But it has to be dang good–we have 100,000 readers to entertain each week. You must keep us as diverted as the blog war has for the last little while. So go for it! I’ll put a 24 hour hold on her, just for you, but once that’s over, I put her back on the showroom floor.
Hey, I am a nice guy.
If I do say so myself..
What more do you need? There you have it straight from the horse’s mouth. Sold yet? Lol. Well, needless to say, I am not going to be published this week. I was too busy playing with trains with my kids this weekend to do anything, so I guess the longer I wait, the better it has to be right? I was thinking that something more mulitimedia oriented than just text would do the trick. Perhaps something in PowerPoint, or maybe Flash? If all goes as planned, I don’t see it as something that will work in text form only, but we’ll see. I suppose I could just type up a nice tear jerker, but that’s not quite my style. Plus, I think I need to build a bit more suspense and anxiety first.
Hardy, do you have a photo of you in a robe somewhere in your gallery?
Um, your form fields are a little bizarre. I think you lose points for that.
Brendo- I’m sorry. Apparently Meridian edited out the rule that said, “All pictures of candidates in robes must be pictures of candidates in Jedi Robes.”
Erin, being that I’m a big Star Wars nerd, there is a big chance that I may have a photo of me, in said Jedi Robes.
Or not. I don’t rememeber…
So if they edited it out, then it doesn’t exist right??? Interestingly enough, that’s where I was headed with the robe pic anyway, so Jedi Robes would be even sweeter, although I’ll take what I can get. Really, any photo in a hood would work, I can get the body somewhere else if necessary. How about any pics of you with let’s say… muppets???
Muppets? WHAT?
Brendo, I’m so confused by you dude..
Brendo- MUPPETS? I’m not sure I’m looking for a man who likes muppets… Maybe one or two conversations about the historical impact of the Pigs in Space, but nothing beyond that really. I used to have a Pigs in Space lunchbox, come to think of it. It made me want to be an astronaut.
He may be talking about A certain short, green, balding muppet, that moves X-wings around, but I’m not sure.
Or he could just be trying to find some Gargoyles gurgling gershwin.
EA, Have you ever seen the Star Wars Holiday Special?
Or maybe B is just referring to your secret crush on a certain pig with long blond curls. We all know you sleep with her poster over your bed at night so you can dream about her. Its SO obvious.
There’s a Star Wars holiday special? How have I missed this? I must have it! (I am partially hanging my head in shame that there is a Star Wars anything that I have missed. I even used to have an R2D2 punching bag, and C3PO UnderRoos. But then again, who didn’t?)
Come on, who doesn’t like muppets? Actaully I was not and am still not a “big fan”, but after having kids and seeing Sesame Street again I have had to form favorites in my mind. Well, it’s not so much “favorites”, as as it is “not as annoying”. Elmo for instance drives me insane. He warped me into speaking in the 3rd person all the time and for the longest time I had to refer to myself as “daddy”, as my kids didn’t know who I was talking about if I said “I”. Well the kids have come along and understand “I” now, but even this morning, I said, “Daddy’s going to work, gimme a kiss”. I…can’t…break…the…cycle. I used to think Cookie Monster was ok, until I realized how vulgar he was with his belching all of the time. I guess when you are 6, that’s funny, but when you are older and trying to get a 2 year old to believe that it’s not appropriate, he doesn’t help much. I am trying to think now if I do have a favorite, but even the Count who is somewhat tame seems to be somewhat neurotic with his blasted counting…
I got sidetracked there for a minute. Lol. Anyway, I was not referring to Master Yoda, and how dare you call him a muppet. I was thinking of “real” muppets. I had no idea about the blonde, Hardy. She is a bit short for you, you know. So you have no robe pics and no muppet photography, any chance you have a pic with you and Ben Stiller? Or even a poster of him in the background would probably work. That would be pristine if you did!!! Let me know either way, if not, I’ll have to improvise just like on the rest.
Brendo.
You continue to confuse.
EA: I just review the Star Wars Holiday Special you ought to check out what you’ve missed.
Don’t be too worried about it.
As for the poster, how did you find out about that??? I thought that was my deepest, darkest secret! 🙂
Well, one of them.