The fastest way to a Girls Heart, a KitchenAid?
It’s happened.
In a sense, I knew it was going to happen.
I’ve been proposed to via the Internet.
I never knew that I could grab the attention of so many women, with one side comment about Kitchen Toys.
So I headed over to Sam’s Club to look at various food preparation tools.
As I was perusing the isles, I found that I’m at a loss to knowing what else to grab, that will attract the Ladies. So, I’m throwing it open to all the Women who read these words. From what I can tell, you are all Smart, intelligent, and most importantly bright. Oh, and funny/sassy/feisty/determined and cute. ( I am still up in the air about those who wear glasses because, you know Us men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses)
So, here I stand. Teach me what I need to know.
Should I let ya’ll know that I’m an in the closet Cook? I secretly visit Williams-Sonoma to oogle over cookware, I have copy of their catalog at home to see what I want to buy? I read Simply Recipes (made myself some Chorizo and Eggs last night.) and Cooking for Engineers and watch the CfE Deals Blog for Amazon.com deals on Kitchen stuff?? That I copy a lot of recipes from Alton Brown?
Or should I let the Internets know that I secretly want to be a pastry Chef like this guy (who I watch on Food Network) and specialize in Chocolates? That I’ve been slowly building my collection so that I can make my own Chocolates? (The chocolate temperer should be the next purchase) That I can think of few things cooler than making Chocolate ART?
I don’t know if the Internet is ready for this much information about me, so I may need to keep this on the down low.
Down LOW.
So what else do I need to get, A Griddle? A toaster Oven? A Blender? A Waffle Maker? What do I need to do, to get those Ladies?
Oh, and I had my entire travelmony written out, with the photos last night, and my browser crashed.
I almost snapped.
This -> <- close.
So, is that a no…?
I think I need to start trolling for men at Cooking For Engineers. Engineers? Who cook? That sounds like my kind of man!
You may not want to get TOO set up because you might give off the weird vibes. There’s a fine line. This guy in my ward spent months searching for the perfect pots and pans and the perfect knives. It was a bit much. However, once he got it all put together, I have to say the idea of a man with a complete kitchen set-up is appealing.
See then you don’t have to register and people give you cash and you go on a wicked awesome honeymoon.
I’ve got a blender so that doesn’t appeal to me. But a waffle iron is good. And if you don’t already have a good set of pots and pans, those are good. Maybe a Wok.
However, I think all you really need to say to your latest love interest is “I make chocolates.” Yeah, that should do it.
I’ve lived on my own for a while so I have all the basic necessities like a kitchenaid mixer, and a fondue set. However, what would really make my knees weak and my heart pitter that patter is Le Creuset cookware, especially one of their french ovens.
Kelly does have a point about going too far. I have a gay friend who never discusses his sexual preference with his parents. One trip home his mother asked how his “mister” was. My friend blinked thinking he was busted, until he realized she was referring to the olive oil mister she had given him for Christmas.
And let’s be honest. Any mother who has give her son an olive oil mister should alredy know he’s gay. Although the hawaiian shirts would offset people thinking you play for the other team. Seriously, what self respecting gay man would wear a scourge of horror like that? It wouldn’t even be done ironically.
Ooo, Le Creuset…
Nothing to see here folks.. Nothing to see….
I know you won’t take this advice, since I am always right about stuff, but it might just work. I think you need to become a Papmered Chef Kitchen Consultant (google it). Can you say tons of chicks and cool stuff? You may have to filter out the married ladies, but you will automatically drop the shady ones looking for a free ride, cuz that stuff ain’t exactly cheap. Sign up and get some cool kitchen stuff and then throw a Pampered Chef party and invite only single women. It’s brilliant!!! I wish I would have thought of it before I was married, it would have been a riot. Of course, me being the man that I am (straight, but not so straight I wear Hawaiian shirts) I had never heard of Pampered Chef. Oh the perks of marriage!!!
I suppose now that I have posted this, all of your single lady friends will know what you are up to. Sorry about that, you’ll have to delete this ASAP to keep it a secret.
BTW, the only payment I ask in return for this absolutley brilliant idea is to not tell my wife you are a PC consultant, or I’ll go broke!!!
Hmmm Pampered Chef…..
I’ll have to look into this..
And contact Leigh..
I need to support my pinball machine hobby somehow…….