Anne of Green Gables (Or how I learned to be crazy, and talk to Window friends)

My brothers and I were talking on the phone…

We came to the conclusion that we had been scarred for life, and probably for eternity by “Anne of Green Gables”.

Now, some of the female readers of this blog, may think I’m exaggerating.

I don’t do that.

Ever.

Imagine, if you will, a house, with 4 boys. We would be watching our episodes of GI Joe. As some of you may know, GI Joe would always end with a saying such as “Eating twice your weight in crayons can cause your stomach to be irritated”, followed by a kid saying “Thanks, now we know” and then the GI Joe character would follow by saying “And knowing is half the battle” followed by a Chorus of GI JOE!

Anyways, we’d be there, learning small bits and pieces of what should be done in the GI Joe world (and since, as a kid, you can’t tell the difference between reality and TV, our world) and our Mom would come in to change the Channel.

To Anne of Green Gables, or one of the other bazillion versions of Anne (Avonlea, etc, etc). Now I hope the reader can realize how traumatic this was for us boys. I mean, it was that, or go outside and play. Outside, where we would have to entertain ourselves.

So we would try to bully our mother into letting us watch our GI Joe, and get our daily programing.

She wouldn’t do it.

Thus, my disdain for Anne of * grew.

So ya’ll can’t blame me for me disdain. Well, not to much.

So, onto the mockery!

Amazon.com describes the series as

When Marilla and Matthew Cuthbert of Green Gables, Prince Edward Island, send for a boy orphan to help them out at the farm, they are in no way prepared for the error that will change their lives. The mistake takes the shape of Anne Shirley, a redheaded 11-year-old girl who can talk anyone under the table. Fortunately, her sunny nature and quirky imagination quickly win over her reluctant foster parents. Anne’s feisty spirit soon draws many friends–and much trouble–her way. Not a day goes by without some melodramatic new episode in the tragicomedy of her life. Early on, Anne declares her eternal antipathy for Gilbert Blythe, a classmate who commits the ultimate sin of mocking her hair color. Later, she accidentally dyes that same cursed hair green. Another time, in her haste to impress a new neighbor, she bakes a cake with liniment instead of vanilla.

Mistake was the right WORD! And boy can this girl TALK. To top it off, she’s almost the most MELODRAMATIC girl I’ve ever seen.

You know. I think that’s enough right there.

I should have received some kind of award for being stuck seeing what I did see. (Not that I did see anything. Not a thing)

From getting Diana Berry(her bosom friend?) drunk, to getting stuck in a sinking boat (of which, Gilbert Blythe (The Hero) had to save her. ) In fact, at the beginning she smashes his head with a chalk slate! (all for calling her Carrots!) Just some innocent teasing! 🙂 (Props to him for stealing her dance card though)

Green hair. Oh. The list goes on and on!

(Please remember, this info is all from my evil twin, Sirhc)

In the end (not that I’ve ever watched this through to the end), she does come around, becomes more grounded, and finally marries Gilbert Blythe (I guess she finally comes to her senses, much Like Elizabeth Bennet.)
Not after, what I consider a wonderful quote from Gilbert (after the second proposal rejection)

Talking about her falling in love with someone “I hope he breaks your heart. Maybe then you’ll come to your senses.”

This series of books has spawned a Mini-series, a cartoon series, and a play.

I think all of them are available on the Lifetime Channel 🙂

(Gordon, Brian, and Michael, did I end this too mushy? ) 🙂