Yes, I am a killer. I didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t plan on doing it. I didn’t want to do it. Nevertheless, I took another life. It wasn’t the life of a fellow human being, but it was the life of a gentle elderly cat, Snowball, a pet who my family and I loved and cherished and played with. He was an obnoxious cat as he went on in his years. If we worked in the yard, he believed, and probably rightfully so, that you had come out specifically to pet him and he was going to put his head down right where you were working and demand to be petted. Forget about planting that plant, or replacing that sprinkler head, you were supposed to be petting and talking to the cat, not that stuff which wasn’t important. When he was younger in Cheyenne, he believed that he was completely invisible, that he could easily hide in Bonnie’s flowers, even though they might be several bright colors and he had crushed them and was a dirty white color.
Snowball was very old for a cat. We adopted him (I should really say he adopted us) in June of 1991 not long after he came into this world as a new and energetic kitten. His special friend was another cat in his litter, a litter born across the street in Cheyenne that lived in the garage/home of Tom and Kathy Rowe, their three children Matt, Sarah, and Lori, and of course the cats. They played, slept in our garage or the Rowes garage, and had a good time. We ended up adopting two cats from the Rowes (dear friends).
He was at various times called That Darn Cat, HIF (aka His Imperial Furiness), Emperor of the Universe, Snowball the Great, and other far too many numerous special names. Gordon felt he was his son. Chris felt that he was one of HIF’s minions (or was it the other way around). To Julie he was kitty, to Brian, who loves all life in whatever form it may be, he was a friend. Michael cared for Snowball too. In his later years, if he got left outside he would cry until we let him back in the garage. He was our cat, and he owned as Robert Heinlien used to say, he allowed us exist to serve him and he owned us.
All of us loved the cat, Julie, Brian, Michael, Gordon, Mom, and of course Chris. I loved him too, even if he was constantly in my way as I was trying to leave in the mornings to go to work. After all, he needed to be fed, and please do it right now. As he was getting older, his kidneys were failing, we thought he might have diabetes as he was having trouble with them, but he could still eat, even if it was soft cat food. He was no longer able or willing to defend his turf (our garage) and I soon came to get hostile with a neighborhood cat that I referred to as “the Evil Grey Cat” who was always trying to get in and eat his food.
He had cat friends. We had a cat named Nermal, a Maine Kohn (sorry for the spelling) who could live anywhere up high. Snowball loved to taunt our dog TB, to chase him, to let him know who was boss. There wasn’t a dog in the neighborhood that knew Snowball that didn’t respect his territory. We had lots of fun with our beloved dog and wonderful have Siamese cat.
As he got older he was getting sicker. The family moved from our home in Cheyenne and he alternately took up a home at Grandma Cox’s in Pleasant Grove until 5 years ago when we finally made a new family home here in Payson. He became more of a home cat, and as he got older he was moving slower, and perhaps that was his undoing today. I only less than a week ago had a heart operation, so I just went to Sacrament meeting today and the Bishop was gracious enough to allow me to go home after the one meeting. Being his counselor I felt I was letting him down. However, I have also been tired and while I am just 57 I don’t feel like moving very fast either just right now. He usually would get up and move when I pulled the car into the garage. Today he didn’t move fast enough.
I guess what really makes me sad was that I had to make the decision to put him down. He was really hurting, and while we might have been able to heal him through surgeries and other medical interventions, he would have been in pain a lot, and his quality of life would have been so limited. It is not often that I can’t control my emotions but today I was hysterical, and I felt so bad. We gave him a proper burial, right near the spot where we laid to rest our beloved pup TB, and today in paradise they are chasing each other. I blessed his final resting place that it would be kept safe from predators or animals that would dig it up.
Yes, I can kill. It was an accident. Heaven forbid that I would, or anyone would ever want to purposely take another life. It is only in the hands of the great creator, our Lord and Savior, to give life and to restore life and to take life. For him, our Creator, I am grateful and it is in him that I have hope that I will be forgiven for this thing that I have accidently done today. I hope my family will forgive me.