Pappa Hardy's Musings on Life.

I was recently in Wind Cave National Park. I was on a tour of part of the Wind Cave called “The Garden of Eden”. We were travelling through the cave underground, viewing the many natural wonders associated with that place. It was fantastic. I was thoroughly enjoying myself and the opportunity to explorer. It would have been better had I had the skills and equipment to do it on my own with a few friends. The caves were gorgeous, the stillness and the other worldliness of the scene were just great.

As I have got older, I have lost some of the push to be an explorer, but at heart, I love doing new things, seeing new places, and experiencing the unknown. I would love to go into space, to do new things that few have ever done. I am an explorer, and to stay young I must continue to explorer. I can never allow myself to become complacent and not wanting to do things that others have not done. Perhaps that is why I ran for political office a year ago. I needed to be part of an elite, and part of a group of people who push the frontiers.

I just can’t wait until I retire. I at one time thought I would want to work forever, but now, after all of the turmoil that has been occurring for the last 10 years, I would love to be able to just shut the world out. Things are happening to quickly out there. I guess I would love to take an ostrich approach and just be able to ignore the world. Unfortunately, or fortunately, that is not what I I really should be doing. I should be engaged and attempting to make a difference. I think making a difference is important. I think we all need to be out there doing the right thing. Even with that knowledge, I still can’t wait until retirement.

I have realized lately that I am a Photographer. I guess I have always known that and I have always enjoyed very much taking pictures. However, I love to pose the shots, make sure that the right lighting is present, and I like to make sure they are good. Nothing makes me feel better than a good photo that I have taken, and nothing makes me madder than either an uncooperative subject or a picture that is ruined because I can’t seem to get it right.

I wonder at times if I should have taken a vow of poverty and run my own photography business. I certainly would have loved doing that. Working with the people would have been tougher, if working with members of my family is any indication. A photograph is more than just taking a picture of a thing. It is also including life in the photos, not only sterile landscapes. I want some memories too, and I am constantly battling people who don’t want to cooperate. It makes it tough for me, and is perhaps the reason why I backed away from doing something I love for a living and instead I am doing something I can barely tolerate. I am a photographer. I am not so sure I am a banker.

Good Ole Cheyenne, the home of Frontier Days. We are in town this week visiting with the kids in Cheyenne. We lived here for a long time, and the kids, most of them, consider this town as home. For me, it will be a place I fondly remember because of the family associations and the friends that I have here, but it will never be the home that Utah is.

That aside, Cheyenne has changed a lot over the years, and yet, it is also the same. It has grown. The streets are more crowded, and there have been improvements and other such things occur. However, I think the thing, outside of family, that I will always remember Cheyenne the most for is Frontier Days and the image that the city has. It is a symbol of the old west. That spirit, and the spirit of friendliness, will always be something that I remember Cheyenne for.

Today was a special day for me. We visited Martin’s Cove (actually the Sun Ranch) for a second time. My Great, Great, Great Grandfather, Richard Collings and his family were part of the Martin Handcart Company that suffered such great challenges when crossing the plains in 1856. This handcart company suffered many deaths and much misery, yet my ancestors and many others remained true to the faith. I just pray that I will have similar courage when the challenges mount in my life.

I took a walk this summer that made me realized that at one time I was an actual, honest to goodness, outdoorsman. I was walking up a trail in Yosemite National Park, smelling the Pine
Trees, seeing the green all around you. I was in the great outdoors. I loved it. Long ago, I did that all of the time, then I got married and had a family, and somehow I lost that practice and that dream. I am no longer the Outdoorsman. I miss that.

I love to write. I don’t do it very well. I don’t have the style that my son Chris has. I don’t have the ability to use prose and to be intellectual. I can’t always seem to get my thoughts down like I would like to do. I can’t always seem to move people by my prose, but regardless, I love to write. I picked that up somewhere. I write diaries. I keep my thoughts to myself. I also write this blog, and tell people what I am thinking, again often not doing much of a job. At this age in my life, I doubt that I will ever be able to excel at writings, but still I like to do it, and the few, the very few, who read my ramblings will have to endure my passion. I doubt anyone ever reads this blog, but if they do, I want them to know, if they haven’t guessed it by now, that I love to write.

I recently learned something at a bank branch staff meeting (a truly odd event) that made me think about the two animals that have lived in my house recently, and have passed away. They are buried in the ground near a rock wall in our back yard.

According to some Jewish tradition (if I have this correct), rather than bring flowers to a grave site, they bring small pebbles which are placed there. These rocks symbolize the intent to always (like a rock is steadfast and immovable) that we shall always remember the deceased who has passed on.

I guess the two animals of which I speak (TB and Snowball) will always hold a special place in our hearts in our family, not because they necessarily were super animals, but because in their own way they showed love to this family, and we likewise, with rock steady steadfastness, shall have a place in our hearts for them. They were special to us, and I don’t think I will ever forget them.

At least once a day I walk out to the garage. Whether it is to check the garage door to make sure it is shut, or to make sure the light is off, or just to make sure everything is OK, I have the same type of experience. I expect to hear a loud meow of the garage’s inhabitant, either demanding food, a litter box change, or just wanting to be let out for a while. I keep hearing our departed cat. I suffer again every time I go to the garage. Perhaps I will never go to the garage again for a while. The car needs to be moved out to another location.

From the evening news tonight you would have thought that the entire financial structure of the United States had just quit functioning. I have to admit, it was an interesting and also stressful day at the bank. It is not every day that the DJI loses 500 points. The DJI Average lost that much in October of 1987 when the market was a lot smaller. We recovered.

Things are changing fast, that is for sure. Lehman Brothers disappears over a weekend, with Merrill Lynch being purchased by Bank of America. What some people, the ignorant, and most of the populace of this country don’t understand is that the investment banks are not the same as the commercial banks that they equate banking with. The commercial banks and the majority of the banks in this country are much safer than the country realizes. It is going to be a wild ride for the next little while as the markets sort out all of the problems that have come because of the greed of a few who put together mortgages that were not good, and then the populace of this country who wanted a home without paying the dues required and who wanted to profit by using constantly rising home prices as a way to build their equity.

Yes, it will take a while. Those of us who have 401k’s and the such will need to hold out for a while, but I believe that this country will recover. In the meantime, we have a Presidential Election in process and the candidates will beat this to death. We also have basic problems that need to be resolved, the IRAQ war, Social Security, Medicare, and budget deficits. Whoever is elected President has a real challenge on their hands. We will recover from this supposed financial meltdown.