Livin it One Day at A Time

My youngest brother is currently serving a misison in the Raleigh North Carolina mission. My father regularly copies the letters he sends home to the blog, for the entire Internets to see.In his last entry he says

And the last two Mondays have been right after 2 major holidays (Christmas and New Year’s Day), making the Monday a working holiday and those closing off all of the public buildings. So, all I’ve been stuck with is snail mail, showing how tough it was for the pioneers of missionary work (Chris and Gordon).

That’s right! Why back in my day, we didn’t even have these things called Internet and e-mail, we corresponded via Terodactyl, and we liked it! I mean really, do ya’ll know how long it took to hand write a letter. And then to re-write it so that someone else besides me could read it?!?! It took FOREVER. (Well, FOREVER + 1 Day). I got harshed for finding a word processor/typewriter and writing some letters that may have looked a bit the same, but trust me, they weren’t.

Don’t make me recount the story of how my best friends mom played a evil, evil trick on me while I was in the last months of my mission. I wouldn’t want to make ya’ll cry.

So, later on, Michael says:

So, we proceeded on with the baptism…which had to be done twice! I guess her head didn’t go down all the way.

Once again, Michael is following in my footsteps. I had to baptize one person three times. By the time the third baptism was happening I was determined to make it the last.

And thanks to the fact that water hit people two rows back, I earned the nickname “Shamu”.

But that is another story…

On the heels of the BYUi article, comes another one from Time Magazine.

Now before I start my rant, I’ve been told by *more* than one person, that they are suprised what I write.

Do any of you find that as well? Are there reasons why? Am I doctrinely wrong? Am I making the Female Gender upset with me?

Anyways, the Times article quotes Elder Oaks (of the Twelve) in a talk he gave.

A talk he gave around May 1st. In this talk, he said “Hanging Out is Not OK”, and listed the three P’s. I can’t help but feel that this article is a bit late though…..

The one part I remember is “Close the Pantries.”, in fact, I posted about my plight aftewards here.

I found the article interesting, especially since I also wrote about the other article about the growing singles population on in this article.

So.. Onto the article: Alone in the Pews

The church has tried to do some adjusting itself. Since the 1970s, it has ministered to single members through singles wards, congregations specifically for unmarried 18-to-30-year-olds. In the past five years the number of those congregations has jumped to more than 500, from 300.

That’s an addition of 200 units! That’s over 50 units a year! For me, that’s a huge number, especially if you figure 60 avg people attending x 200 units. Over 12000 additional Young Singles are Young Single Congregations.

Marie Wilson, who converted to the LDS faith 10 years ago, is the only never married member of the singles group in her Winston-Salem, N.C., ward and, at 35, the youngest by at least a decade. Her church friends, she says, “can’t relate because most of them have been married since they were in their early 20s. I’ve lived alone my entire life.”

I think this has been brought up in most of those other articles. There are the two groups. Those who are able to get married fast, and after the mission, and those who get married a big bit later.

I was recently at a SAMS club, eating my Saturday lunch (aka, walking up and down the samples isle) talking with one of the samples ladies (I’ve become good friends with, surprising. Really) when she was enquiring about my love life. Along came some people, looking to get some sample sugar cookies when they heard her and I talking. They managed to hear me and the samples lady discussing what we though, and the guy said something to the affect of “Don’t let her pressure you, it took me until I was 40 to find my wife *As he hugged her* and I wouldn’t give her up for anything”. The samples lady then shoooed them away with something like “No COOKIES for YOU!”.

Anyways, this is becoming a sociatal norm. Is it good? Is it right? I don’t know. I do see a widening gap between the world and the Church on this issue. I can see why it’s easier for people to slowly fade into in activity as they get older. The world just doesn’t have the expectations that the Church Culture does.

Even in Manhattan–with a vast support network of unmarried Mormons–Jeffrey Jackson, 27, says he and friends in his singles ward immediately put “more focus on one-on-one relationships,” proposing more dates and trying to consider their female friends as potential wives.

All I can say is yea.

Despite what I think a few girls think, there is no vast male consipiracy to not date or not get married. Most men do want to get married.

It’s just that ya’ll are smart and intimidating and stuff.

Actually, I don’t know. I don’t know what the root problem is, so I have no idea what the solution is.

Thus, I am not an advice columnist.

I’m just having fun on this journey called life.

In my copious amounts of spare time I was reading some of Redlaw’s blog when I saw a link to Miss Nemisis’s blog. Along with her blog, was her mans blog (how’s that for blog tag?). I took a gander, and found a very interesting article.

l

Smart Women Intimidate Men

There are gems all over the place in this article..

In a preview entitled “What’s a modern girl to do,” Dowd cites a 2005 report by British researchers finding that the higher a woman’s IQ, the less chance she had of having a family. The reverse was true for men.

So the thing that bothers me the most, girls acting like they are ditzy (girls I *know* are smart) is a defense mechinism? A way to attract guys? Since us guys don’t want someone who can beat us at scrabble?

I’m fine with a girl beating me at scrabble. Now pop culture Trivial Pursuit. Well, I don’t have to worry about a girl beating me there…

Never to fear though, later on in the article it says.

While some BYU-Idaho women do experience problems with intimidated men, many Latter-day Saint men desire to marry intelligent women. Their support for educating women does not wane. Actually at BYU-I, it flourishes.

Alas, they never really interview a guy, they just talk to a dad who has a bunch of girls…

Hmmmmmm.

According to Looking Out, Looking In, a book that explores interpersonal communication, while humans like to be around talented people, there are differences between men and women. Studies suggest that women are impressed by people who seem completely competent, whereas men need to see some human flaws.

Anyone find this true?

And finally

He said that naturally men like females who are dependent. Men want to be needed. Women who don’t need them intimidate them.

So basically, us men like our damsels in distress.

Or our damsels who look like they are in distress.

Or act like it.

I am a cooker.

I cook. Back when I was growing up (Well, before I hit this part of growing up) I had planned on being a cook. Or a Director. Or a Writer. Or a Teacher. Or a computer programer. So tonight I cooked some Mormon/Funeral/Whatever Other Event/Religious affiliation you may have Taters. Tommarrow they will be FHE Thanksgiving Taters.

Let’s justs say it’s potatoes with a whole lot of dairy product. I was going to take photos, but forgot.

So, here’s my recipie for Diary Product Taters (using only the cheapest of ingredents):

2 Cans of Cream-o-Chicken soup
1 Cup O-Cheese (Sharp Cheddar)
1 Bag of Hash Brown Taters (not the Mondo bag, but the regular bag)
1 Cube-o-Butter
1 Mid sized tub of Sour Cream
1 Package of French Onion Dip
Couple of handfuls of crushed corn flakes

Directions
Mix everything except the corn flakes together.
Put the corn flakes on top (crush em)
Bake @ 350 for 30 Minutes.

So cheesy. So Dairylicious.

BTW. Anyone see Lost last week? What’s up with that?

There’s nothing like the wonderful sensation of the dough squishing in your teeth. The sugar and stick of butter flowing through your system.

Oh, and if you are lucky, the egg in the dough doesn’t kill you.

I digress.

It looks like the “Independent Online Forum” was mentioned for a second time on Single Thought. Of course, I won’t mention who writes the article. Needless to say, I found the replies humorous, and I have to throw in my two cents.

(Just for the record, I like cookies cooked or uncooked )

I don’t want to sound mean, but it was interesting to me that the most (if not all) the negative comments about young marriages and receptions were from single people! Why are they criticizing those who are married — I mean, getting married is a good thing, right? Such cynical attitudes don’t help someone who is single anyway!

All I have to say is DUURRRR.

This is something that I have to deal with! This is something that is in the forefront of my thinking all the time. You know what? It’s hard not to become obsessed about it! I believe it’s just human nature to concentrate on what you are striving to achieve. When I get married, it’s going to be how I can be a better Husband, when I have kids, it will be on raising them. I’m sure I’ll think some other parents are doing a bad job. I’ll judge (which one shouldn’t do, but it’s hard), but that’s human nature.

This is where “Smug Marrieds” make me roll my eyes so violently into the back of my head that they flip. At the end of the day, if getting married young is good for you, it’s good for you. I’ve said it before though, I think not enough courtship goes on before the marriage, because our society is one of insta-gratification.

Courtship is vital. I’ll always believe that.

As for the receptions:

One wrathful reader went so far as to suggest that getting married later is all part of an evil plan to destroy the family.

Commence eye rolling *NOW*. Alas, not all of us get married right away. For those who are striving for the goal at the end of the tunnel, it doesn’t matter how long it takes.

It doesn’t make you any less of a person.

Now I give you the background because while I feel that the ‘present grab’ that exists in the Mormon culture (at receptions) is repulsive .
….
Just because we were relatively young (20 and 22), why wait if you know it is right?

First part: I don’t find it repulsive, I just find it *Tacky*
Second part: You know what, it goes back to what I said before. COURTSHIP. If you feel that you know someone after six months, then that’s fine. Everyone has different experiences. I just don’t see this as a big race. Does one get more blessings if you make it to the finish line faster? If it’s right for you, then go for it, if not, well, you aren’t breaking any commandments.

People invited to wedding receptions need to stop thinking of what they are going to get out of it and more about what they can contribute to it.

Oh, I understand, and I give gifts and I for the most part, enjoy the receptions I attend, because I know the Bride and Groom.

The underlining gripe for me (back in the original rant) is that my time is precious. I have a job, I have an extremely busy church calling, I have a girl, I have chores, I have shopping. My time is spread thin. My time is a valuable commodity. I have to choose what I will devote my time to. If the reception is just attempt to get material goods (aka, I hardly know the person I’m getting the invite from, and 15 registry cards fall out), then I may send something, but I’m going to prioritize my time elsewhere.

Then Erin & Juli said:

We have been to some amazing sit-down dinner receptions that cost a great deal, and were very classy. They truly made each guest feel part of a wonderful celebration of the couple’s love and new eternal union. We have also been to receptions in the cultural hall that made us feel the same.

In the end, that’s all I’m asking for. I don’t really care about the reception itself, it’s the atmosphere. One of my favorite receptions was very informal (right Brendo?) it was very close, very relaxed, and very fun.

In the end, I have my opinions, and I guess everyone has there opinion.

That’s what makes this life so fun.

Oh, and the nice gooey cookie dough doesn’t hurt either.

Or carmel popcorn.

Or peanut brittle.

Right now I’ve been experiencing a fair amount of stress in my life. Well, as much stress as a single guy with poor eating habits, late night sleeping habits, and lots of church and work pressure.

I recently told a church member that I couldn’t commit to helping with an activity. That’s how stressed I am.

To me, one indication of how complicated my life has become is the amount of keys on my keyring. In the ideal world, I’d have only three keys. One for my apartment, one for the truck and one for the mailbox.

Right now, my keyring is a jumble of keys. Keys to Church buildings, keys to offices. Too many keys.

Right now I’ve been attempting to cut back on anything that I see as complicated. I threw out using a wallet a year or so ago. Anyone have any ideas?

Any ideas at de-stressing? (And no, eating lots and lots of chocolate is not a option).

Well, at least yet.

Erin’s Column posted today.

Some of us were quoted.

I’m now expecting a backlash. You know. The kind where people google for what I said, find where I live, and send Trained Ninja Asassin Monkeys after me.

I don’t know about ya’ll, but I’m getting my paintball gun & ammo, buying an asbestos suit, and heading for my new bunker in the hills.

Just know it was me, if you hear on the news “Man killed by pack of monkeys”.