I’m ripping this off of the comments I made in Kelly’s blog. She makes some pretty interesting points in I Just Don’t Get It talking about the lack of dating going on in the East (and from what I’ve seen, the West). I’m posting my comments, because, well, I had planned on making a entry along these lines, and well.. I’m Lazy.
So without further ado…
1) It’s true that guys will look at a girl, and think “Can I picture myself married to her” before we even go on a date.
Don’t ask me why, it just is.
There is a catch-22 here though. Since my breakup, I’ve been doing quite a bit of dating here locally. I’m dating numerous different girls. What does this get me? I’m starting to be labeled a commitment phobe. This drives me nuts, since I’m just busy trying learn who these girls are!
2) American guys just don’t know how to flirt.
- Girls, don’t assume he’s gonna figure that you are flirting with him on his own. I don’t know if it’s just LDS, or if it’s bigger, but us american guys have to be practically be smacked up side the head with a 2×4 to know that you are interested. Which leads into point #3
3) The ratio is weighed for the guys.
- I know, I was the branch clerk. In my branch we had 70 Elders, 50 Sisters. Actually attending, 20 Elders 40 sisters.
The men can skate along, unless you are the “freaky guy” you can get plenty of girl attention, without any work. I’ve looked on some of the online websites, and it’s just as bad there. There just isn’t as many *ACTIVE* Mormon Men as there are Women. If you go to the Temple, you can witness that in pretty good contrast.
4) We are the Divorcephobes. In my mind, the single population of the Church is broken into two groups. 1) group got married at 21 for the guys and 18-19 for the girls. They grabbed the first available person and got married FAST (2 week engagement, not even through twitterpation, etc) and decide this person wasn’t for them.
2) Second group has watched our parents/family members and friends get married, then divorced. No way we are going to let that happen. So we just wait for that “ONE” person, who was destined for you since the premortal life.
[Addition]
Leigh made a comments saying
Totally see it about the lack of dating. Our stake president (who has several single daughters ranging in age from 29 to 22) has actually said that YSA need to stop “hanging out”. Hanging out isn’t getting anyone anywhere. Stop hanging out and start dating!! Hanging out is indefinite and non-committal; dating is finding out who someone is and if there is potential, if not, you move on. But everyone has been “hanging out” for so long now that when a person starts dating around like you are doing, he is labeled a player or committment-phobe, as you have said. Yeah, catch-22 is right.
And as Erin and Juli say in A Single Thought about Duty Free Dating:
Duty-Free Dating, or “DFD” as it is sometimes known among researchers who study the phenomenon, is the practice of flirting, consorting, investigating, and fraternizing continuously in a public place with a member of the opposite sex with little to no follow up or commitment. The instigator of this device, or the aggressor, or predator, frequently tends to be male, although exceptions in nature have been found. The female is generally more timid and less aggressive in instances of DFD. She tends to be a naïve participant and propagator of DFD. While she may create Duty-Free Dating environments (Sunday night group dinners), she did not invent DFD.
What can I say, these three women know what they are talking about. It’s yet another point as to what’s going wrong.
[/Addition]
I don’t know what the answer is, besides smacking the guys up side the head and getting them to date.
Of course, I could talk about the frustrations a guy has with girls, but I’ll save that for later 
Popularity: 1% [?]
